Sinful Coffee

So I gave up coffee for a week. Ok so it’s only a week, but here’s what I have learned.

I complained of the idea of giving up coffee, I had every excuse in the bag. But I didn’t plan on giving up coffee. I figured I can let go of something else that wasn’t as abundant in my life. I was on my way to work last Monday morning and I just felt like I didn’t need to stop for coffee that I could make coffee at work. Then, the coffee maker at work was broken! So I sighed and I said a prayer that was so simple. “If it is your will, God, if you really think this will help, let it be done. Amen”

That day I wasn’t stressed, wasn’t even really tired. I turned to water. The next day was the most stressful day of the month. The end of the month. It meant deadlines were sooner, more paperwork. The works. But I still didn’t give up, even after the headaches started rolling in. By the end of the week I realized my ups and my downs throughout the day were because of my continuous crashes of caffeine, not my actual being tired.

It’s like sin, sin can make you feel great but by end of the sin, you will be down seeking your next sin to get involved with. And I know you will be kicking and screaming like a little child of even the idea of giving up some sin, but in the end it’s all worth it. With Gods help it can be done. Even if you don’t think you can live without.

Jesus, the perfect man,died for our sins, so that we may live. But if you are a Christian living in continuous sin, the thing Jesus died for, then how can you embrace God with a fully loving heart? You can’t. How can you live a sinful life if you are suppose to be Christ like? It doesn’t go together. I am not saying you won’t sin because you will and if you say you don’t, you are probably lying and therefore sinning. We are enslaved to sin. Sin gets you no where in life. Embrace God and leave the sin behind.

No matter where you are in life, if you think that God put it on your heart to do it. Then do it give up the sin and Stop complaining.

Victim of Life

‘There are people who will speech life into you, but there are also people who will speak death into you.’ – Pastor

I never thought of the latter part of that phrase. People can speak “death” into you? Then I think back to my past, and I see the man who did that my entire life that spoke ‘death’ into me. And yet he was a member of a church, and claimed to be Christian, he claimed to ‘love’ everyone. He claimed a lot of things. But yet I was a girl. I couldn’t amount to anything. I couldn’t do anything right. I wasn’t smart, I was dumb, I was ugly, I was fat, I shouldn’t even be alive. I didn’t have the right, because I didn’t deserve it. 

I didn’t have a strong enough ‘life’ speaker to outweigh the ‘death’ speaker. So the ‘death’ speaker won and it ate at my soul, it built walls up.  It took me into the deep depression and making not want to be around a man I looked up to, a man I thought loved me. Instead it took me to my room, my bed, me crying into my pillow at night, because I was unworthy of everything. This led me to locking myself in my room for almost a year, led to this man attacking me, led to a lot of things. I was a victim of life.

I never searched for a church, I wasn’t really searching for God, I wasn’t searching for anything because I allowed myself to say ‘I don’t care about my life, it is was it is, I am unworthy anyways’. (Now I know it’s because God had his hands on me the entire time) Guess what? The moment I sat down in that church, I whispered to myself, “I am home”,  it was God saying “Welcome Home” . I am home because this is where the love I have been searching for, the man I should’ve been looking up to, Jesus.  

I am no longer a victim of my past. I cannot allow the words of the past to judge my future or my present. I don’t need a man who speaks ‘death’ into me.THE MAN redeemed me, he saved me, He shed his blood for me; HE LOVES ME. IT Is more then any man of earth could ever do for me.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord”  Romans 8:38-39