High Point University, a university I was only at for one year, a university where I became friends with people, I still talk to day or at least friends with on Facebook. If we weren’t playing Spades in the lobby of the dorm, some of us would be out partying, including myself. I lost myself that year to alcohol, I got in trouble numerous times, put on probation, and almost kicked out. I lied my way through it all. But through all the law and rule breaking, God was still reaching out to me.
I joined University Singers a group/choir meshed up with misfits and some amazing voices during the fall semester. I met some amazing people there. One in particular had a mission to change to my life.
She was handicapped. My selfish heart felt sorry for her, felt as if I had to take a stand and become friends with her because everyone deserves friends. So we would spend some afternoons walking and talking. I may have been hungover some days, she didn’t seem to care. She was there to start her ministry, her dream was to become a minister, to reach people like herself.
Jesus was the topic of discussion must days. Everyday I would say, “that’s your thing”, “I don’t really care”,” I don’t believe in any of that” and give ridiculous or political reasons as to why, “I don’t even know if there is a God”. Jesus just wasn’t it for me. She knew I felt that way. But she didn’t stop sharing.
One tragic morning, I get a call. This girl who was trying to speak life into me, passed away. She was only 19 years old. If God really existed, she shouldn’t have died, He wouldn’t have taken her life, not that soon. Her dreams never saw the light of day. This light I had in my life, was blown out as quickly as it was lit. I had no idea what to do, I was lost.
Some of my friends and I took the trip to her funeral. It was beautiful, but sad. High Point University later that week, put on their own dedication ceremony for her. University Singers was asked to sing because after all she was apart of it. We sang her two favorite songs, both Christian. The one I remember the most was, “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me. As the words left my lips that day of her dedication, tears started to build, there was something about that song that planted in my soul.
Four years ago, I was heading down pathways that were dark and dreary. I started losing hope. I felt like a failure. I was rock bottom. Suddenly, I came across her picture I had. “I Can Only Imagine” started playing in my head. I downloaded it and listened to it on repeat. I felt as if that girl who tried to speak life into me was right there with me telling me it will be okay.
One year later, I realized who actually was with me telling me it was going to be okay. Everything she had said to me before, every promise she had ever stated, was true. Jesus is the answer and I saw why she had the dream she had.
I may have only known her a few months before the Lord took her home, but she was the most inspirational and the most loving person I have ever met. She was not scared of anything or anyone. She only had a love for Jesus and to share it with those around her. She may have not lived out her dream of being a full time minister but she reached this poor lost soul, I was part of her mission here on earth and for that I am joyful and thankful.
Last night, was the first night I had the chance to worship publicly to a song that changed my life. I wanted to break down in tears with praise. I am forever thankful and cannot wait to see her face to face in heaven.
Tanya Elise 