Prayer & Seek

There are many reasons why people ask for prayer. If you are willing to pray, also be willing to seek. I am saying if you are willing to ask for prayer and you already know what you can do to help the resolve the issue or problem then do it, especially if it’s personal.

If you are down and depressed and you feel like you are in a downward spiral then call your lifeline, your mentor, or a fellow Christian to help lift you up. A friend is great but a friend can only do so much.  If you don’t and all you do is ask people for prayer to help lift you up, it becomes a constant battle because you do not have accountability or a relationship with fellow Christians to help build you back up.This walk with Jesus was not meant to be done alone. That is why we have the church and the church body. It is why we try to build communities within the church, so that other Christians will be there for you when you need them.

If you are willing to ask for prayer, you should be willing to seek help. God is not just magically change you if you are not willing to put in the work. By stating you don’t want to seek help from a fellow Christian, or a mentor, and you only want prayer, it is stating that you are not willing to use the people God has place in your life for that specific reason.  God puts a person of faith in your life to make sure you stay on the narrow pathway. Seeking help is work, it’s getting out of your comfort zone and taking a step in the right direction. Some people are so weak that their first step is the hardest step they ever take. Bible studies will help, personal time with God will help, but fellowship and mentors will and can help also.

If you don’t have a mentor, find one. A Christian mentor is a great person to have. They are there to help keep on the narrow pathway in Christian walk. A mentor is not your buddy, a mentor is not a friend, though a great Christ centered relationship will be built. Your mentor should know where you struggle, your mentor should know what tempts you.  Your mentor should also know your full story. They are amazing man and women of God, who have a story and a past but are willing to help guide you.

I am no expert but I have battled this myself. If I am willing to finally ask for prayer after personally battling it for awhile, then I know I need to step out and ask for help and surrender to the fact I can’t do this alone and I am not meant to.


Tonight I sat behind my steering wheel of my car in utter tears. I wasn’t upset. I was broken and still am and will always be. But I was in car writing an email to my pastor, that never got sent.

I was writing because I am feeling unworthy and I don’t how to deal with it. I don’t know how to act when I am weak. I don’t know what to do. I am calling this “UnMasked” because I hide behind my smile, I hide behind a mask that is not true. In the email it stated “I don’t like to open up. I hate it. It makes me weak and I don’t like it. It’s like I’ve been hiding behind a mask” then it clicked. I have been hiding. All my life I hid behind this mask. A mask of “I’ve got it all together” but I don’t. No one does. But I was taught at a young age by people, I don’t know who, that showing weakness as a woman was not a good thing. Asking for help is saying you’re not good enough. I was always taught to figure out the problem and fix it that’s everything from technical, emotional, physical, and mental.

I don’t want to open up but today I feel unloved; I feel worthless; I feel like a failure, and I don’t know how to stop from feeling that way. I don’t know how to fix it. It could be because I’m 28 and I am single never been on a true date and lonely. Everyone I know is either is either getting married or having kids and I have no one. I have been in terrible relationships and one night stands. I went down a road where I wanted to feel worthy, so I got on “dating” sites, and met up with people and “had fun” . Looking back I have pity on myself because I thought that was the measure of my worthiness, how many guys showed interest. How many guys told me “they cared”. They could’ve cared less.

My worthiness I know comes from God. I am worthy of it all because I am a daughter of a king. I am worthy because All Might Powerful God says I am. I am loved because Jesus loves me. If I am doing the will of God, As there maybe some potholes and speed bumps along the way, God will not let me fail.

So in all as I might feel this way now. It’s just all but for a moment. I will get out of this rut, this pothole by Christ alone, not
by people lifting up egos, or taking sides but by the pure love of Christ.

“Newness of Life”

Inspired by Carrie Underwood “Something in the Water”

I grew up in a church that was not about the baptism or at least not publicized . I honestly, do not know what they believed, I was 11 the last time I stepped foot in that church.  I did not step foot into another church till I was in my late teens or early 20s. I was searching for something, but I didn’t know what. When someone told me to join them for church, I would say “sure” but I never filled out anything and typically would only return a few months later with the same person.

Why church? I do not know. I could’ve tried something else. I liked singing the traditional songs, I knew them, but I didn’t get anything out of it. I was lost. I had no idea what was going on right in front of me.

I started the church I am at now by going to a baptism, because even though I knew nothing about the faith, even though I knew nothing about Jesus. I knew baptism of a person was a huge deal. I went to support her and watch her get baptized.  I was saved two weeks after that. However, I did not get baptized until 10 months after starting the church.

I did not get baptized because I was scared. I thought I was ready months before. But I wasn’t. I was still trying to figure out this whole follower of Christ thing, I did not share on Social Media about my faith, I didn’t share to anyone about my faith. I was scared of what people thought of me. But then I began to journal, I began writing about my faith, I began reading the bible more. I began trusting God with my life. I started just giving everything up to Him.

As I began that, the “Baptism Sign-ups” just kept glaring at me. I kept thinking, I can do this, but I did not want anyone to see me sign-up, I didn’t want a million and one questions. I didn’t want the attention. So one Sunday, for an odd reason no one was around yet. I wrote my name on that list. A month later I was baptized.

My faith went from being just a thing “I do” to becoming my life. I was consumed by the faith. There are many aspects of my life that changed from that day on. When Carrie Underwood states “There’s something in the water” it’s true. Completely true. There are many parts of the bible that talks about Baptism. Here’s what it says in Romans:

“Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” Romans 6:3-4 ESV

I changed. My family looks at me differently now, my “friends” became my old friends, and new friends, a new family started. You are not meant to walk the earth by yourself. You are not meant to be a follower of Jesus Christ by yourself.

I was singing Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) at a Phil Wickham concert the other day and I was amazed. My church sang this when I was lost. My church sang this and I did but just as a “sing-a-long” and only to the “Amazing Grace” part of the song. But just the other week, I was singing it from the heart and I realized that my chains are gone. There’s only a few left but those will take many years to break but the ones that I thought were anchored to bottom the sea, that I could never break from. They are no longer there. It was a freeing moment.